Party is not a verb…

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…and other cranky thoughts from a perennial optimist


BY THE THAMES — Why do men in really flash cars always look either old and lecherous, or young and criminal?

Why, when I am driving, do cyclists seem to rely on me to keep them alive? I have to brake or swerve unnecessarily, so as not to kill them.

Why, when I am cycling, does every dim-wit driver seem to be actively trying to kill me?

The BBC is good. But do all watchers carry water indefinitely?

Leverage is not a word that has any redeeming qualities. It need not exist or be used.

Who made it so that just when your kids are old enough to do fun things with you (play tennis, go to the theatre) they don’t want to?

How come we say “s/he’s such a nice person” when we mean something else entirely?

Why does my 12-year old know more about the Second World War than I do?

If two cups of tea tend to make me cranky, what would happen if I had 8 or 10?

Why, oh why, would people announce the end of their marriage on Twitter?

How do you consistently make a German person laugh?

What is wrong with a world where you can use grocery store loyalty ‘points’ to get a CT scan?

Why do we do jobs we don’t like?


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