FULHAM ROAD — I was fairly roundly abused over dinner last night for having this point of view. Apparently many in my generation feel that ‘social convention’ don’t and/or shouldn’t apply to them.
And for anyone doing business I think that’s wrong. Whether big or small, there is no need to be rude if it could limit your business.
1. Swearing
The average American adult now swears 85 times a day. And women swear almost as much as men — twice as much as they did 10 years ago.
Why?
Research shows that swearing actually reduces pain. So if you hit yourself with a hammer, it hurts less if you swear.
But why swear randomly at work, or even in everyday life?
It tends to be to show that you are cool, and to actively break down social convention — to show you are a free thinker.
Does it really do that? Do all people really respond that way? Are there no other ways of doing it?
Just to be clear, I find myself doing it quite often. But I can usually see the almost imperceptible reaction means I shouldn’t have.
2. Table manners
Even my lovely wife teases me about my reaction to table manners. But I would almost rather not eat with someone than see them eat off of their knife. Does that seem odd?
How about this: I sat with someone in a restaurant recently who ran the entire length of both sides of their knife across their out-stretched tongue midway through their meal. I just worried for their personal safety there.
3. General politeness
The UK still has some amazing examples of general ‘consideration’ that still surprises people. Orderly queues at bus stops, for example. And lots of pleases and thank yous.
And there are some great examples of the opposite — if you go to a high street pubs or walk by a building site at lunch time.
But again, manners are something many people think are highly over-rated. And those same people believe that their view is therefore the widely held perception.
And yet…
Why is it we see this week two great examples of crowds cheering on people who stand up to bad behaviour.
The JetBlue flight attendant — who pulled the emergency slide and left when a passenger assaulted him physically and verbally.
The (maybe not real) office worker — who quit by white board.
They’re funny stories. They maybe imply a larger common interest in consideration, social convention and good manners.
I’d be up for that.
/df
